The only consolation in this dreaded scenario is that it happens to all of us. And, in the end, it might make for a good story for your closest friends to enjoy. But take heart, there are some simple solutions for this always-untimely event.
The following are five time-tested and green tricks that have worked wonders for many a poor soul, listed here from the easiest to the hardest.
1. Do nothing but wait, then flush.
Toilets, like all plumbing drains, work by the force of gravity. A full bowl of water exerts its own pressure on the clog and, over time, often will clear the clog for you.
So if you have more than one bathroom in the house, just wait it out overnight, or as long as you can. Then, try to flush again. If it's a standard clog (too much paper, in most cases), this passive solution is surprisingly effective.
Warning: When you do the test flush after the waiting period, be ready to stop the water flow to the bowl (see Top Toilet Tip, below), just in case this method doesn't work.
2. Pour in some hot water. Wait. Flush.
If you don't have the time to wait out the clog, or if you'd like to increase your chance of success by giving gravity a helping hand, you can pour a few cups of hot water into the bowl.
Proponents of this technique believe that the hot water helps to break down the waste, thereby loosening the clog. Can't hurt to try.
However, this doesn't mean you should be pouring pots full of boiling water into a cold, brittle, china toilet bowl, which could crack it. Hot water is a far more ecological choice than pouring corrosive chemicals down your drains.
3. Add soap. Wait as long as possible. Flush.
This is clearly the preferred method when you're not at home and would do anything to avoid having to break the news to your hosts. A few good squirts of ecological dish soap is perhaps the most popular method, but again, if you're a guest and not alone in the house, it can be hard to explain why you have a sudden need for dish soap in the bathroom before you're ready to join the party again.
Other lucky souls have reported that liquid hand soap or shampoo have done the trick nicely, too. The theory here is that the soap breaks down the waste faster than water alone. When it's time to flush, be ready to stop the water to prevent spillover.
4. Plunge like a pro.
First of all, standard cup-type plungers don't work well on toilets because they can't provide a good seal over the drain hole. Instead, use a flange plunger, which has a rubber sleeve that extends down below the domed cup, or boot, section. Flange plungers with accordion-like boots work well, too.
Make sure the flange is extended (it can fold up into the boot), then lower the plunger into the toilet at an angle so the boot fills with water and isn't trapping air. Insert the flange into the drain hole and press down so the boot seals tightly around the hole.
Make the plunge action count on both the downstroke and upstroke, since both forces will help loosen the clog, and maintain a good seal at all times. If you have no success after several tries, let the clog sit and try again. Still no luck? Time for an auger.